The Story of Saturday Mornings (as told through the questions my son asks)
Are you getting up?
When are you gonna get up?
What if you slept all day?
Where’s the iPad?
Is it charged?
Are you in there?
Are you peeing?
Can I come in?
Can you see my hand under the door?
Can I have the iPad after her?
What if I had a beard?
How long is it gonna be until I can grow a real beard?
Will you tell her it’s my turn?
Can we get this app?
What if somebody put a spell on me and it was like 100 years long for the weekend to get over, and when I went back to school Monday I had a beard, and everybody was like, “Whoa, are you a little boy or what?!”
I’m real hungry, so can I just have both of them?
What if I wore my pants pulled up like this all the time?
Can I watch something on Netflix?
Will you turn it on for me?
CAN SOMEBODY BRING ME SOME TOILET PAPER?!
Where’d he go?
When’s he gonna be back?
Can I go ask the neighbors to play?
Will you tie them for me?
My big coat, or just the blue jacket?
What if we had an elevator in the house?
Can I have a snack?
A banana is healthy, right?
How long is that gonna take?
Is it my turn now?
What if my face was like this all the time?
How many days is it until my birthday?
All of it?
If I do, then can I go check on the bunnies?
What should I dress up as?
What should I draw?
Can I just do Thor instead?
Do you want to see it?
Are you awake?