The Nine Positions on a Tee Ball Team
It’s all over but the end-of-the-season pizza party, folks. William just had his last tee ball game.
Tee ball season is my favorite time of year. It isn’t that I particularly enjoyed playing softball as a child. Truth be told, I was the worst girl on the team. In the interest of full disclosure, a few facts about my experiences as a ball player:
1. All girls who signed up for county rec softball at that time were entitled to play a minimum of two innings provided they sold all of their fundraising candy bars.
2. I never played more than two innings.
3. I was only allowed to play right field – a place where ten-year-old girls never hit softballs.
4. I didn’t so much sell all those candy bars as eat them and stick my mom with the tab.
My love for tee ball stems not from its similarity to baseball and softball, but from it’s differences. Not for the skill exhibited, but for the lack thereof. You know, I’m sure, the nine different players/positions that comprise a baseball team. The pitcher, the first baseman, etc. Did you know that there are also nine distinct positions on a tee ball team? They are as follows:
1. The OCD little girl who dusts off the base with her hand between runners.
2. The child who hits the ball toward the backstop rather than the field.
3. The glory hog who takes the ball from his teammate’s mitt so that he can throw it in himself.
4. The boy who stops and goes back for his fallen hat while running from one base to another.
5. The kid whose sibling spontaneously leaves the bleachers to join him in center field so that they can hug and hold hands.
6. The child who actually understands the rules and plays well.
7. The rock collector.
8. The crier who keeps leaving his base to hop in his mother’s lap.
9. The one who keeps sitting down.
My son is #4. I suppose I’d be #9. We’re not athletes. But the weather is finally warming up. There are no more candy bars to sell, and everyone gets a trophy. Does it get any better than this? If there were a tee ball league for grown-ups, I’d join up in a heart beat.