It didn’t hit me yesterday. We packed lunches, we put books into backpacks, and while I knew intellectually that it was the first day of school and that classes had resumed, it didn’t really sink in. My focus, yesterday, was on getting through my own work day. Today, though; today has been different.
Today is Friday. My day off. Can you imagine how that must feel for me at the end of the work week? How lonely I must feel? Home alone? No work until Monday of next week? No children until 3:15? Somber stuff. I could not even bear to get up this morning, weighed down as I found myself to be by grief (and quilts), so Todd took the kids to school while I slept in.
In an act of desperation, I attempted to elevate my mood with stimulants. One cup. Then another. I lost complete control.
My girl friends, Audra and Mari, stopped by. They were similarly dysthymic.
It was a support group of sorts. We sat stoically on the porch in the harsh 78 degrees of the morning.
Audra and Mari are stay-at-home mothers, so the bond they share with their children is especially tight. If a stay-at-home mom makes a phone call, someone is always close by to eavesdrop and take copious mental notes on the topics under discussion. If she indulges in a few minutes of a trashy reality show, she can be assured that one of her kids will walk in on the program at just the right time and then ask several questions about the inappropriate language and/or behavior he’d observed on screen. If she makes a trip to the bathroom, her more mathematically-inclined offspring will report, with complete accuracy, how long she had been sequestered. To ask, “Why were you in there so long?” Poor Audra and Mari. The back-to-school transition is so difficult for them.
Mari left support group so that she might take a lonely, contemplative walk. Audra returned to the eerie quiet of her home where a great book was waiting. God willing, the storyline will distract her, if ever so slightly. As for me, to be honest, I am not sure how I will pass the time today. I may go shopping – get rid of some of this money that I wont be needing for Summer babysitters (lest it weigh down my purse and throw off my alignment.) After that, who knows. Help myself to a baked good that I’ll not have to share, and then watch something other than the Disney Channel.
There are thirty-five more Fridays until Summer vacation 2015, and I’ll be off for every one of them. Thirty-five more quiet Fridays and counting…