Counting Cookies

“Who ate all the cookies!”

My eleven year old slams the cabinet door. It springs back open in response to the force.

“There are still some cookies left,” I say.

“There is one cookie left. A broken one.”


“There were eight cookies left after dinner last night,” she says. She reviews the facts like a seasoned prosecutor. “William says he only ate one. Dad didn’t eat any, and I didn’t eat any, either. That means that someone ate six cookies between last night and right now.”

Implication: That someone is you, mom.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I say. “I bring all the food in this house. I earn the money that buys it. I shop for it, I put it into the cabinet, and if I want to eat every last thing under our roof, that is what I will do.” And sometimes that is exactly what I do.

Carrie eyes me with pity and disgust.

“Dad does the grocery shopping. And works.”

She grabs a bag of pita chips and carries it to the table muttering six cookies…

Most popular diets today involve tracking your daily consumption. The Fitness Pal app provides a nice food log. Weight watchers, too. Me, I’m just going to keep sharing a cupboard with this middle schooler – let her shame me into moderation.

11 Comments on “Counting Cookies”

  1. I’ve watched her have a chicken and fried rice microwave meal for breakfast…… so there is that.

    • I think that sounds like an awesome subtitle to a horror movie. Imagine it read in a make narrator’s voice. “This Halloween, there are no secrets in a house with children…” (cold chill)

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