body image Category

I am Not Responsible for the Smell in this Restroom

At some point in my early twenties, older friends and relatives began sharing with me the myriad advantages I should expect with the onset of middle age. A coworker named Debbie once told me that, at the age of forty, I would stop caring what other people thought of me. On another occasion, Aunt Sharon […]

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When Your Head Has Been Completely Shaved…

A woman’s guide to coping with temporary baldness (dedicated with love to my friend J, who has complained less about her brain surgery than I did the last time my IUD was changed out)

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Counting Cookies

“Who ate all the cookies!” My eleven year old slams the cabinet door. It springs back open in response to the force. “There are still some cookies left,” I say. “There is one cookie left. A broken one.” “Oh.” “There were eight cookies left after dinner last night,” she says. She reviews the facts like […]

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Does This Bathrobe Make Me Look Old?

My 10:30 am patient is still completing paperwork over in registration. The radiology techs, in matching grey scrubs, are chatting amongst one another as they work. Busily completing some documentation, I have all but tuned them out when something is said which catches my attention. “…and I sort of want one,” a rad tech says […]

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Orthopedic Birthday Shoes

“What do you want for your birthday?” Mom asks. On the surface, this is a straightforward question requiring an equally-straightforward answer. Beneath the veneer of our casual conversation, however, the proceedings of a nuanced negotiation have just been set into motion. Women and their mothers; they don’t chat. They play Chess. Mom’s goal is to […]

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The Virtues of Being Uncomfortable

Within my body are two different kinds of fat. Don’t judge me or become disgusted; there are two different kinds of fat in your body, too. “White fat” stores energy in large droplets, while “brown fat” cells are smaller and produce heat to keep us warm. All mammals have white and brown fat, and those […]

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Tiny

My daughter’s sixth grade math class took a field trip to the Dollar General this week. The teacher’s intention was to present the students with an opportunity for calculating the unit rate of items in a real-world setting (and perhaps to show them where they’d end up working should they choose to blow off their […]

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Passing Judgement

So my daughter ran her personal best at a 5K last night. Thirty minutes and change. This was in the Country’s Midnight Express, a 12am foot race put on by a barbecue restaurant in my hometown. “Great job, honey!” I said. “That is nearly two minutes faster than your last run. Is that what you’d […]

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Twenty One Cheetos, Celeste Corcoran, and “Different Beginnings”

Did you know that one serving of the crunchy Cheetos consists of “about 21 pieces.” It’s true. I Googled it Monday during lunch while eating Cheetos. I counted out 21 pieces. I assembled them onto a napkin and took a picture so that I could show you. Limiting oneself to such a pittance of cheese […]

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Nude

We lived next door to a nudist couple back in the early 2000s. In the interest of anonymity, I will refer to them as Kurt and Kitty. Kurt and Kitty were roughly the same age as my parents. They had typical, middle-class jobs, were members of the Catholic church near the beach, and were terrific […]

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